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HINTS 



Common Politeness. 



Politeness and integrity constitute the real Gentleman 
and the true Christian. 



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^°f Washing 

BOSTON : 

D. C. COLES WORTHY, 

ANTIQUE BOOK STORE. 
1867. 






Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the peal 

D. c. COLESW( >RTHY, 

In the Clerk's OfFi '■ the District 

of Massachusetl 



' 



INTRODUCTORY CHAPTER. 



We have fallen on singular times. 
Who has any true regard for the 
rights of his neighbor ? Where 
can a really polite man be found ? 
If we do not actually spit in the 
faces of our friends, we are, every 
day of our lives, guilty of number- 
less thoughtless and equally as 
uncivil acts, that greatly displease 
and annoy them. 

When will the American people 
learn that true politeness does not 
consist in honeyed words, graceful 
bows, and starched rules of eti- 
quette ? When will they cease to 

3 



[i >N POLIT1 I 



use low, vulgar, and profane lan- 
guage ? When will they learn not 
to crowd their neighbors, and 

trample upon their sacred rights? 

When will they respect the a 

st the infirm, and manifest a 
tender regard for the feelings 

the poor and down-trodden ? And 
when will they stop puffing the 
fumes of tobacco in your very 
faces, and ( [uirting its dis- 

gusting juices promiscuously upon 
your stairs, carpets, and dresses? 
God made the atmosphere pure 
and health}' ; and what right 1 
man to poison the air we breathe, 
annoy a fellow-traveller, and de- 
stroy the pleasure he would enjoy 
from a car -ride in the city or 

country ? 



INTRODUCTORY CHAPTER. 



Your own pleasure, convenience, 
and interest should not be taken 
into consideration, when they con- 
flict with the duties you owe to 
your neighbors and to society at 
large. It is a man's glorious privi- 
lege, as well as his highest Chris- 
tian duty, to sacrifice his own 
selfish interests, if thereby he can 
promote the weal of others, and 
scatter widely and profusely the 
blessings of life. 

A few hints in this little volume, 
we trust, will have the effect to 
make people more jealous of the 
rights of others ; to lead them to 
study to cultivate more carefully 
and religiously that disposition, 
and to practise those virtues, 
which will contribute to the wel- 



a 'MM- >N l'< )l I 1 1 N 



faro and happiness of mankind, 
and scatter more bountifully the 
sunshine and warmth that spring 
from elevated affections, Christian 

deportment, and sincere politei 




COMMON POLITENESS. 



It is not polite to wait until services 
have commenced before you enter a 
church or any public assembly. 

It is not polite for ladies or gentle- 
men . to occupy as much space as 
possible in pews, cars, or omnibuses, 
while others are standing. 

It is not polite to speak unkindly or 
look angrily, when requested to make 
room for another in a public convey- 
ance. 

It is not polite to laugh aloud, or use 

loud or boisterous language, in cars or 

7 



IMON POIJTKN 



on ferry-boats; thereby© atten- 

tion. 

It is not polite to use harsh langu 
when speaking to another of his fault, 
however aggravating you may think it 
to be. 

It is not polite to make boastful 
remarks, or manifest a defiant spirit. 
Modesty and humility are Christian vir- 
tues. 

It is not polite to seek opportunities 
of revenge. To forgive and to f! 
is the true doctrine. 

It is not polite to fret and scold at 
the petty annoyances of life. 

It is not polite to get unnecessarily 
excited and angry, howe I the 

provocation may be. 

It is not polite to pass a relative or 



COMMON POLITENESS. 



an acquaintance without recognizing 
him. 

It is not polite to refuse to accom- 
modate another, when it is in your 
power, and you can do it without detri- 
ment to yourself, and without infringing 
on the rights of others. 

It is not polite to request of another 
a favor you would not willingly grant 
under similar circumstances. 

It is not polite to invite persons to 
your house, when you do not desire to 
see them. 

It is not polite to chew tobacco in the 
presence of those to whom your breath 
may be offensive, — whether in a dwell- 
ing-house, a stage-coach, a car, or a 
steamboat. 

It is not polite to say through 



[MON POL1 II > 



another, to a stranger or acquaintance 

at the door, whom you do not wish to 
see, that you are engaged, or not at 

home. 

It is not polite to contradict another, 
or rudely to question the truth of his 

remarks. You should speak with 
moderation, and convince with truthful 
arguments. 

It is not polite, when passing another 
on the sidewalk, to turn to the left. 
Always to the right. 

It is not polite to hurry through the 
streets, jarring one person, jostling 
another, and stepping on the toes of a 
third. 

It is not polite to use perfumery 
about your person. Nature does not 
require it in those who keep them-. 



COMMON POLITENESS. 



clean and pure. When a person is 
highly scented, it appears as if it were 
done to conceal an offensive breath, or 
some other disagreeable smell. 

It is not polite to borrow money, a 
book, or any article, and not return it 
at the time designated, or to wait until 
called upon by the owner. Forgetful- 
ness or thoughtlessness is not a justi- 
fiable excuse when you retain, a moment 
longer than the time specified, whatever 
belongs to another. 

It is not polite to use pompous or 
high-sounding words in conversation. 
The more simple words the better, in 
which you can convey your meaning and 
be understood. 

It is not polite to notice the defects 
of nature in others, or to speak, in their 



12 COMMON POL1 MM 

presence, of their deformity. 

your eves on what is perfect, and speak 

only of what ; able. 

It is not polite to sm 

pipe in the streets, where are constantly 
passing those to whom the smoke is 
offensive. 

Jt is not polite to smoke in a rail-car, 
an omnibus, a stage-coach, or a ferry- 
boat, where the smoke may reach the 
other passengers. A man has no right 
to annoy his neighbor, much less to 
poison nature's pure air. 

It is not polite to betray confidence 
sed in you, or to obtain t! 
of others with the intention of using 
them to their disadvant :._ 

It is not polite to : y in 

public for any charital t. Jt is 



COMMON POLITENESS. 1 3 

sufficient to lay your case before your 
luearers, and let them decide how much 
it is their duty to give. They can judge, 
without the advice or dictation of an- 
other. 

It is not polite to spit on the floor of 
a church, a dwelling-house, a car, in the 
cabin of a steamboat or a ferry-boat. 
The spitting on the floors of our cars 
and ferry-boats has become so common 
that ladies have often found it difficult 
to obtain seats where they could pre- 
vent soiling their dresses. A person 
who uses tobacco, and is obliged to spit, 
should never enter apartments set apart 
exclusively for ladies with gentlemen, 
unless he is willing to swallow the 
delectable juice. 

It is not polite to spit from the win- 



M COMMON POL1 II 



dow of a dwelling-house, or the door of 

a shop, where people are constantly 
passing. 

It is not polite to spit on the side- 
walk, when the open street is before 
you. 

It is not polite to stand before a shop 
door or window, and spit on the steps 
or the walk. 

It is not polite, when two persons are 
conversing together, for a third per- 
son to interfere, and endeavor to call 
attention to himself. 

It is not polite to break an 

a 

ment, or to keep another waiting, even 
for a moment after the time of meeting 
has arrived, 

It is not polite, on any occasion 
whatever, to use profane Ian-,; 



COMMON POLITENESS. 1 5 

It is not polite to use the name of 
the Supreme Being with levity or irrev- 
erence in conversation. 

It is not polite to have foul teeth. A 
brush should be used after every meal. 

It is not polite to pick your teeth at 
table, or in the presence of those 
with whom you are conversing. 

It is not polite to attempt to force 
others, against their will, to adopt your 
sentiments, or to coincide with you in 
your peculiar views. 

It is not polite to question others, in 
idle curiosity, respecting that with which 
you have no concern. 

It is not polite to get angry when in 
conversation with another. 

It is not polite to request another to 
do an act, which, if it is not positively 



16 ( OMM< >\ POL! n \i 

wrong, it may be a disagreeable task 
for hi m to perform. 

It is not polite to interrupt another, 
by attempting to -peak before he has 

finished his sentence. 

It is not polite for three or four men 
to rise, and leave their pews in chinch, 
to give room for a lady at the foot. If 
she comes in last, she should occupy 
the first vacant seat. 

It is not polite, in public assemblies, 
to crowd above others, with the inten- 
tention of getting the best view of the 
speaker. 

It is not polite to beg of others for 
the use of yourself or friends, while 
have the means to purchase what is 
necessary. 

It is not polite to take a any 



COMMON POLITENESS. 1 7 

other animal into a car or omnibus, to 
annoy passengers or soil their garments. 

It is not polite to drink intoxicating 
beverages with another, or resort to 
questionable places, when your inclina- 
tions and principles lead you to another 
course. 

It is not polite to put shop-keepers 
to unnecessary trouble in looking over 
their goods, when you have no intention 
of purchasing, or coolly remark, as you 
leave, " We only came to examine goods 
to-day." 

It is not polite to preach up charity 
and good will towards men, while you 
indulge in unchristian feelings towards 
your fellow-creatures. 

It is not polite to attend church with 
a long face, and be punctilious in the 



■ 

observance of the Sabbath, while, dur- 
ing the week, you pay but little r 

to the common duties of Christianity. 

It is not polite to borrow a book, or 
any article your neighbor has just 
bought, when you are as well able 
to purchase for yourself. 

It is not polite to recommend your- 
self for any office of trust, honor, or 
emolument. 

It is not polite to pay for puffs or 
advertisements where your own deeds 
are proclaimed, or your own articles are 
extolled. 

It is not polite to make a remark, 
loud enough to be heard by another, 
which is a word oi reproach or a slan- 
der on him. 

It is not polite to pick out flaws or 






COMMON POLITENESS. 1 9 

petty foibles in the characters of your 
neighbors, when you are not angels 
yourselves, and are far from laboring to 
become such. 

It is not polite to utter the ideas of 
another as your own, and thus attempt 
to shine in borrowed plumage. 

It is not polite to crowd into a full 
car or omnibus, and expect another to 
rise, and give you his seat. 

It is not polite to refuse to manifest 
your obligations to those who have 
assisted you in any way, or given you 
any desired information, no matter how 
trivial it may be. 

It is not polite to take down a book, or 
any article, in a store or dwelling-house, 
and not return it to its proper place. 

It is not polite to forget to shut the 



p)\ l'oi.i ricN 



door in cold weather, when you leave a 
house or a store, or to stand with the 
door open while conversing with 
another. 

It is not polite for persons to dress 
extravagantly, or in the extreme of 
fashion, when by so doing they know 
they will mortify their neighbors who 
are not able to do the same. 

It is not polite to refuse a present, 
however trifling, bestowed by a gener- 
ous heart, from the best of moth 

It is not polite to say, " I will do it," 
and not perform. 

It is not polite to hold the contribu- 
tion box in a man's face, as if to force 
him to give, when you know he i 
not approve of the object for which you 
solicit charity. 



COMMON POLITENESS. 21 

It is not polite to stand at the corners 
of the streets to stare at those who 
pass, or to make improper remarks. 

It is not polite to halloo in the street, 
or engage in boisterous conversation, 
particularly when the hour for retire- 
ment has arrived. 

It is not polite to speak disrespect- 
fully to another, more especially if he 
is older than yourself, or in humbler 
circumstances. 

It is not polite to speak in an authori- 
tative or angry tone to men or women 
older than yourself, who may be in your 
employ. 

It is not polite to disregard gray 
hairs, or to laugh at the infirmities 
which disease or age has brought upon 
others. 



•MMON POLITEN1 

It is not polite to select the lai 
share of whatever is placed before you 

to eat 

It is not polite to laugh at a joke per- 
petrated at the expense of the feelings 

of another. 

It is not polite to deceive, or in any 

way to wound the feelings j to make 
needless expense ; or to lead others 
into difficulty or mortification. 

It is not polite to refuse to make a 
suitable apology, whenever you have 
inadvertently done any thing to injure 
the feelings of another, or in any way 
slighted a friend or a neighbor. 

It is not polite to hesitate for a mo- 
ment to forgive a person who mak< 
apology, and endeavors I : any 

injury he may have done to you. 



COMMON POLITENESS. 23. 

It is not polite to refuse to take the 
part of a friend whose character may 
be traduced in his or her absence. 

It is not polite for a minister to make 
so long a prayer as to weary the con- 
gregation, or to pray to his people and 
not to his Maker. 

It is not polite to speak frequently 
of the talents, the beauty, or the 
accomplishments of the members of 
your own family. 

It is not polite to be recounting your 
own deeds of benevolence, your own 
Christian experience, your own devo- 
tion to truth and integrity. 

It is not polite to praise your own 
book, your own music, your own 
work, your peculiar talent, whatever 
it may be. 



COMMON POLI'I I ' 



It is not polite to put yourself for- 
ward in compai i be the 
observed of all. 

It is not polite to praise a man to his 
face. 

It is not polite for a minister, v. lien 

preaching on charity, to beg so vehe- 
mently as to disgust his heare 

pie generally know for what obje< ts to 
give, and how much they are able to 
spare, better than they can be told. 

It is not polite for a purchaser to 
attempt to beat down the price of an 
article he is buying. 

It is not polite to place a spit box in 
a pew, a cabin, or a car, where I 
and gentlemen sit. Such hai 
occasion for the article ; and certainly 
it is not a pleasant object upon. 



COMMON POLITENESS. 25 

It is not polite to speak of a person's 
dress, or appearance in the street, so 
as to be heard by him or her. 

It is not polite to wear a peculiar 
dress, or pursue any irregular course for 
the sake of oddity or notoriety. 

It is not polite to read or sleep in 
church during divine service. 

It is not polite to whisper aloud, to 
laugh, or to act in any way unbecom- 
ingly in church. 

It is not polite for an organist, who 
desires to display his skill, to keep the 
congregation waiting from ten to fifteen 
minutes, by playing on the instrument, 
before the minister can begin his ser- 
vices. 

It is not polite for a person who has 
a good voice for singing to be too for- 



z() COMMox j-« (LITENESa 

ward in making a display of his or her 
ppwi 

It is not polite, in company, for one 
to make any remark that may produce 
unpleasant sensations in the bosom of 
a sensitive person present. 

It is not polite to allude to the mis- 
conduct of a person in the presence of 
his child or his relative. 

It is not polite to call at a dwelling, 
and request to see the lady of the 
house, and, in disobedience of her re- 
quest, display your books, your jewelry, 
or your wares, and urge her to pur- 
chase. 

It is not polite, when a stranger 
preaches, for half the congregation to 
absent themselves from church. 

It is not polite for a minister to u play 



COMMON POLITENESS. 27 

fantastic tricks " in the pulpit and 
preach himself, " when sent with God's 
commission to the heart." 

It is not polite, when called upon to 
pray in public, to touch upon some par- 
ticular objects, for the sake of giving a 
thrust at some neighbor present. 

It is not polite to pass by a neighbor 
in trouble, when you can render him 
assistance. 

It is not polite to disturb your neigh- 
bors who have retired for the night, by 
making any noise whatever. Loud 
singing and thumping on a piano 
should be avoided, when the hour for 
rest and sleep has arrived. 

It is not polite, when in company, to 
slight the illiterate or the poor. They 
should be made to feel, for the time 



j.S COMMON POLIT1 

being at least, that they are aot inferior 
to any present 

It is not polite, in visiting neighbors, 

. it your children wi when 

they would be likely to annoy and 
trouble others. 

It is not polite to answer angrily or 
unkindly one who may have asked, un- 
intentionally or thoughtlessly, an im- 
proper question. 

It is not polite to scold on any occa- 
sion j more especially when an accident 
occurs. 

It is not polite, when you borrow 
good money, to return the amount in 
uncurrent bills or ragged currency. 

It is not polite to put a person to un- 
necessary trouble who is ready to deny 
himself for your accommodation. 



COMMON POLITENESS. 29 

It is not polite to throw water or rub- 
bish from a window, beneath which 
people are constantly passing. 

It is not polite to interfere when two 
are conversing, no matter if you think 
either to be in an error. 

It is not polite, in public assemblies, 
to occupy much time, when there are 
others present who are expected to 
speak. 

It is not polite to make lengthy 
prayers to a weary audience, or to ex- 
tend the exercises by singing long 
hymns to dull tunes. 

It is not polite to refuse, or hesitate 
for a moment, to correct a mistake of 
your own, even though it be greatly to 
your disadvantage. Persons act dis- 
honestly who knowingly receive double 



M« »X POUT] N 



for whu they pay, or, through mistake! 

of the seller, give less for an article than 
it is actually worth. 

It is not polite to refer to past e 1 
or crimes, in the presence of one who 
has sincerely repented of his VIO 

It is not polite to appropriate to your 
own use, without consent, the most 
trifling thing that belongs to another. 

It is not polite for a young and inex- 
perienced minister, in self-confidence, 
to attempt to preach on those doctrinal 
subjects which the most profound 
thinkers and the most devoted Chris- 
tians have discussed with diffidence 
and humility. 

It is not polite to be slovenly in your 
dress, and careless and indi about 

your personal appearance. 



COMMON POLITENESS. 



It is not polite to question the 
veracity of another when you are not 
certain that he is in error. 

It is not polite to be odd. 

It is not polite for a lawyer to brow- 
beat and insult a witness, who, though 
he. may be bashful and modest, has a 
heart keenly sensitive to the wrong and 
outrage committed upon him. 

It is not polite to refuse to pay an 
honest debt, or to withhold from anoth- 
er beyond a reasonable time, his just 
dues. 

It is not polite to speak unadvisedly 
to another, or to thrust your opinion, 
unsolicited, upon a neighbor. 

It is not polite to suffer a creature of 
yours to molest a neighbor. Cows, 
dogs, and hens should not be allowed 



IMON POl 



to run at large when they interfere in 
the least with the rights of others. 

the terror 
of neighbors 1 children ; and they often 
make it impossible to count 

of their barking and howling. 

It is not polite to bore another, who 
has no interest in the matter, with your 
own troubles or personal adventures. 

It is not polite to repeat your own 
compositions to those who have no de- 
sire to hear them. 

It is not polite to enter a merchant's 
store, and take down his goods t 
amine, and not return them to their 
proper places. 

It is not polite to pry into a letter be- 
longing to another, or to read it, if 
carele-sly left open before you. 



COMMON POLITENESS. 33 

It is not polite for an editor, who, 
controlling a press, has the advantage 
of his neighbors, to abuse them in print, 
or hold them up to public contempt. 

It is not polite to alter a show-bill, 
a notice, or an advertisement, so as to 
convey an erroneous sentiment or an 
improper idea. 

It is not polite to send to another a 

scurrilous letter, or a caricature, to 

wound the feelings or provoke the tem- 

1 
per. 

It is not polite to give a nickname 
to another, or to call him, at any time, 
by an improper name. 

It is not polite to speak of a gentle- 
man as " that fellow." 

It is not polite to tell a falsehood, 
under any circumstances whatever. 



34 COMMON POl ill M 

It is not polite to be a "bus) body 

in Other men's matters/' when you are 

not in the least interested. 

It is not polite to pluck fruit from 
the trees of a neighbor, without his 
consent, or to take a single flower from 
his grounds. 

It is not polite to fret and to scold 
about the weather, or with the affairs 
of Providence in general. 

It is not polite to get angry when an 
accident occurs, even if your property 
is destroyed, or your person is injured. 

It is not polite to preach charity and 
benevolence to others, while you are 
mean and penurious in the extreme. 

It is not polite to hold up to ridicule 
the defects in the characters of your 
neighbors or friends. 



COMMON POLITENESS. 35 

It is not polite to destroy the life of 
any creature, however humble, which 
does not molest you, or that is not in- 
jurious to the community. 

It is not polite to make sport of seri- 
ous matters, or to ridicule those who 
conscientiously perform religious du- 
ties. 

It is not polite to force yourself in 
any place without pay, when you know 
money is requisite to an admission. 

It is not polite to vote for yourself as 
a candidate for office, or to solicit the 
votes of your friends. 

It is not polite for a poor person to 
borrow money, when it is not in his 
power to pay. There are those mean 
enough to borrow, and then get angry 
when called upon to pay. They some- 



36 C<>M.Mo\ POL1 [1 M ! 

times have the impudence to accuse 
their friends of trying to distress the 
widow and the orphan, because they 

insist on justice. 

It is not polite for a merchant to ad- 
vertise on his store, " Selling off at cost," 
" Closing off at reduced prices," "Goods 
sold cheaper than at any other store," 
and the like, when it is done to deceive, 
and obtain custom, and he has no in- 
tention of doing as he advertises. Per- 
sons would do well to avoid such places. 

It is not polite to advertise in the 
newspapers, that you are selling at u less 
than cost," or that your goods are u su- 
perior to any in the market," that 
u they have been damaged by fire or by 
water," or that persons can save from ten 
to twenty per cent in purchasing their 



COMMON POLITENESS. 37 

goods at your store, when facts do 
not warrant the use of such language. 
Those who believe such advertisements 
are generally seriously taken in. 

It is not polite to shun a person 
who has done you a favor, or to pass 
him by as if you did not recognize him. 

It is not polite to hurry to your busi- 
ness with shoes unbrushed, hair un- 
combed, and teeth not cleaned. 

It is not polite -to lay plans for the 
accomplishment of any object whereby 
you unjustly elevate yourself in the eyes 
of the public. 

It is not polite to get angry or use 
insulting words to those who refuse to 
give to the object for which you solicit 
charity. Remember, others may not 
see and feel as you do. 



38 »MMON POLITEN1 

It is not polite to solicit a friend to 
stand as security for you, and then leave 
him to settle your own just debt 

It is not polite to injure in any way 
the property of another. A tree should 
not be cut, a fence marred, an animal 
maimed, or any offensive article be 
thrown on his premises. 

It is not polite to insist on the atten- 
tion of another who is busily eng; 
or to weary him with words when he 
gives you a hearing. 

It is not polite to test the quality of 
butter by putting to your mouth the 
knife which is used by the ga- 
it is not polite for a minister, a teach- 
er, a doctor, or a lawyer, in making pur- 
chases, to ask a liberal discount on ac- 
count of his profession. 



COMMON POLITENESS. 39 

It is not polite, when a person hears 
of the rise of an article in the market, 
to go to his uninformed neighbors, and 
purchase at less than its value. 

It is not polite for teachers who keep 
books for sale to feel less interest in 
scholars who do not purchase of them, 
or to find fault with the books they have 
obtained at less prices. Teachers in 
public schools ought to have salaries 
sufficiently large to prevent their dab- 
bling in the sales of books. 

It is not polite to fail for the pur- 
pose of making money. If you have 
been unfortunate in business, you 
should pay your honest debts the first 
opportunity. 

It is not polite to prolong your visits 
so as to weary your friends. 



40 COMMi »V POL1 rENI 

It is not polite for 

their children alone when they will be 
likely to make a noise, and disturb their 
neighb 

It is not polite to purchase an arti< le 
of a clerk, when you know he is selling 
it for less than his employer can a 

It is not polite to make use of public 
prayer to extol the virtues or to flatter 
the vanity of a distinguished personage 
who may be present. 

It is not polite for a young minister 
to assume too much, and attempt to 
dictate those who were in the church 
before he was born. 

It is not polite for a man who h 
an office, and whose situation 
him to thousands of annoying quest 
to give a hasty, uncivil answer. Men in 



COMMON POLITENESS. 41 



office are very apt to feel the importance 
of their stations, and answer hurriedly 
or tartly those who are obliged at times 
to make inquiries of them. Persons of 
quick tempers and uncivil natures 
should never take an important office. 

It is not polite to send for insertion 
in a public print a notice of a false mar- 
riage or the death of a living person. 

It is not polite for a minister to 
boast of his success in preaching, or to 
be more elated at his popularity and 
increased salary than at the conversion 
of sinners. 

It is not polite, if you insist on wear- 
ing mourning on the death of a friend, 
to wear that mourning garb for too 
long a period. When we see ladies 
persist in wearing sable, we are re- 



42 OMMON POL1 n:\KSS. 

minded of the reply a young widow 
made to her mother i "I> >n'1 you 
said she, k> it saves me the expeti 
advertising for a husband." 

It is not polite to crowd in or out of 
a public assembly. 

It is not polite to step on the feet 
or the heels of another. 

It is not polite to suffer a person to 
ask you several times to pay a debt 
justly due. % 

It is not polite for a tax-collector 
to be uncivil or unkind because he is 
invested with a little authority. 

It is not polite to attend church for 
the purpose of seeing and being seen. 

It is not polite to be all things to all 
men. Always let it be manifest where 
von stand, and what you are ; and do 



not hesitate, when it is necessary, to 
express the honest sentiments of your 
heart. 

It is not polite to confess your sins 
in the plural number, while you extol 
your virtues in the singular number. 

It is not polite to quote the sentiments 
and opinions of others, a'nd give them 
currency as your own. If you make a 
speech or write a paragraph, let it be 
your own, be it expressed ever so home- 
ly or bunglingly. 

It is not polite to disfigure the house, 
shop, door, or fence of another, or daub 
them with paint, or place any marks 
upon them either through malice or a 
love of mischief. 

It is not polite to allow your children 
or domestics to ring the door-bells of 



44 >MMON POLITEN1 

your neighbors, or in any way deceive 

or molest them. 

It is not polite to invite a person to 
visit you, to dine with yon, or to lodge 
with you, unless yon really desire it. 
This kind of deception — Uttering 
words from the month which come 
not from the heart — should never be 
practised, to the mortification and dis- 
tress of one who may have deemed yon 
sincere, and taken yon at your word. 
If it is not convenient to receive com- 
pany, or yon do not actually desire it, 
on no consideration should yon extend 
the imitation. 

It is not polite for the conductors on 

our rail cars, whose duty it is to look 

after the comfort and happiness of the 

I i permit men and boys to 



COMMON POLITENESS. 45 

smoke cigars and pipes on the cars. 
Notwithstanding most of our railroad 
companies have prohibited the smoking 
of tobacco on our cars, it is sometimes 
permitted by good-natured conductors. 

It is not polite for editors, for the sake 
of advertising patronage, to state that 
the circulation of the paper is larger 
than that of any other sheet in the city, 
when such is not the fact. 

It is not polite for editors to recom- 
mend constant advertising as a means of 
receiving custom, when the fact is, mer- 
chants advertise too much for their 
interest ; and many cases can be men- 
tioned, where people have lost all and 
failed by advertising largely. A very 
little judicious advertising may not be 
unprofitable. 



46 MMo\ POLITEN1 

Jt is not polite for editors to [ 
publicity to current but untrue reports 
for the purpose of making their papers 
sell, and then be obliged the next day 
to contradict their statements. Tins 
course has been repeatedly pursued 
in our daily papers, and has produced 
incalculable mischief, and brought dis- 
tress upon many individuals and fami- 
lies. An editor cannot be too cautious 
to learn tacts before he makes a state- 
ment that reaches the public 

It is not polite for editors to state 
things untrue for the purpose of mis- 
leading people, and then laughil 
what they consider a good joke. An 
abominable falsehood is no joke 

It is not polite tor editors to recom- 
mend in their editorial columns articles 



COMMON POLITENESS. 47 

they have never seen or tried, just be- 
cause they are liberally paid for so 
doing. Many a person has been de- 
ceived and injured by such injudicious, 
wicked puffs. 

It is not polite to advertise in any 
way to deceive the public, whether you 
desire to sell or to purchase. The 
advertising columns of our papers are 
so managed, that one hardly knows 
what to believe. You cannot tell a gen- 
uine advertisement from a deceptive 
one. Not long since I read in an 
advertisement that goods were sold 
from fifteen to twenty per cent cheaper 
at a certain store than at any other 
place in the city. A day or two after, 
I was in that neighborhood. I had 
just left a store opposite to the person 



48 IMMON POLIT1 

who thus advertised, and I saw sold an 

article for nearly one-half what the ad- 
vertiser charged a gentleman who step- 
ped in and purchased. Out of curi- 
osity, I examined both articles ; and I 
found them precisely alike, and made by 
the same man. So much for the decep- 
tive advertisement. The persons who 
pay for advertising cannot afford, as a 
general thing, to sell so low as those 
who do not incur this great exp 
Editors and publishers are much to 
blame for giving out the impression 
that very little can be done without ad- 
vertising. 

It is not polite for a minister to beg 
earnestly for what is called a charit 
institution, and denounce, in terms not 
very gentle, those who do not choose to 



COMMON POLITENESS. 49 

give, when it is evident to all, that his 
sole object in preaching charitable ser- 
mons is an ample support for himself 
and family. 

It is not polite for agents to solicit 
charity for professedly benevolent ob- 
jects, when it is known to the commu- 
nity at large, that three-quarters of all 
moneys contributed to the societies they 
represent go to the support of the 
agents themselves. 

It is not polite for a person to as- 
sume the cloak of religion, whereby he 
may be more successful in business. 

It is not polite to insist that your 
friend shall hear your manuscript read, 
or that you should tire his patience out 
in repeating a large portion of your re- 
cent poem or essay. 
4 



50 COMMON POLITENESS. 

It is not polite to be uncivil to the 
must humble or degraded The girl 
who works in the kitchen, or the man 
who carries a hod, may possess virtues 
which are rarely found in many who 
meet in our fashionable circles. 

It is not polite to vacate your pew at 
church because a contribution is to be 
taken up. If you do not like the ob- 
ject, you need not give. 

It is not polite, when a stranger comes 
to reside in your neighborhood, to make 
inquiries that will cast suspicions on his 
character. If his conduct is upright, 
it is enough : you should treat him as 
a neighbor and a citizen. 

It is not polite for a member of a 
church or a benevolent association to 
be offended because his views are not 



COMMON POLITENESS. 5 1 

coincided in by his associates, and 
threaten to leave their society. 

It is not polite for a person to attempt 
to be witty, when everybody knows he 
hasjiot a spark of the genuine article 
in his composition. 

It is not polite to pray to God in 
your families and in the conference- 
rooms ; and, during the business-hours 
of the day, to prey upon your neighbors ' 
characters, or deceive and wrong those 
with whom you have dealings. 

It is not polite, after you have done 
a favor for a neighbor, to be constantly 
reminding him of it. 

It is not polite for an editor to speak 
unfavorably of a work, because the 
publisher does not choose to advertise 
in his journal. 



52 common POLITENES 

It is not polite, after you have made 
presents to a public institution, and re- 
ceived the degree you have labored long 
to obtain, to prefix it to your name on 
every possible occasion. 

It is not polite, when you owe a per- 
son for goods, to avoid his store, or 
go elsewhere to make your purch 
The man you owe is justly entitled to 
your patronage. 

It is not polite to sit on a merchant's 
door-step, where people are constantly 
passing in and out. 

It is not polite to fill our horse-cars 
with show-bills. People who travel, 
generally prefer to look at something 
more agreeable than quack-medicine 
advertisements. If we must have some- 
thing to read in the cars, give us moral 



COMMON POLITENESS. 53 

precepts. These may not pay as well on 
earth, but may lay up treasures above. 

It is not polite to listen where per- 
sons are in private conversation. 

It is not polite to ask many questions 
of those with whom you are not on very 
intimate terms. 

It is not polite to be indifferent or 
taciturn, without any apparent cause, 
to those with whom you have long been 
intimate. 

It is not polite to say to another, " I 
am happy to see you," when, in your 
heart, you feel perfectly indifferent. 

It is not polite to urge an acquaint- 
ance to stop longer with you, when you 
would rather have him leave. 

It is not polite to mimic those who 
are in any way defective by nature. 



54 COMMON POLITENESS. 

It is not polite, in passing a narrow- 
walk, fur a gentleman to remain, and 
crowd the lady off. 

It is not polite for ladies to spread 
out in churches, omnibuses, or cars, 
when there are others waiting for - 

It is not polite to apply the epithet, 
" old man,' 1 or " old woman," to a par- 
ent or an employer. 

It is not polite to sweep the s 
walk when persons are passing imme- 
diately in front of you. 

It is not polite, when you borrow an 
article of a neighbor, to request him to 
send it to you. 

It is not polite to take a book or a 
newspaper from the hands of another, 
who has merely stopped reading it for a 
moment or two. 



COMMON POLITENESS. 55 

It is not polite to speak pompously 
or extravagantly for the purpose of call- 
ing attention to yourself. 

It is not polite to read aloud in the 
presence of those who wish to read or 
converse themselves. 

It is not polite to thrust your opin- 
ions before those who have no respect 
for you or them. 

It is not polite to make a boast of 
entertaining sentiments averse to re- 
ligion, or to be indifferent to the con- 
scientious scruples of your friends. 

It is not polite to write a letter of 
inquiry respecting your own business, 
and not enclose a stamp to pay the 
postage of the return letter. 

It is not polite, when called upon to 
address a public assembly, to advance 



56 [MON POL! n ' 



peculiar opinions in SU< b a manner as 
to displease your bearers. 

It is not polite u>v several 
to stand conversing in the door-way of 
a public store. 

It is not polite to hawk and spit at 
your meals ; or to couiih without turn- 
hlg your head aside. 

It is not polite to go with hands or 
nails uncleaned ; or to sit down to 
breakfast with face and hands un- 
washed, and hair uncombed. 

It is not polite to clean your nails 
in company. 

It is not polite for ladies to wear 
dresses so long that people are continu- 
ally Stepping upon them. 

It is not polite to send a card, or cir- 
cular, or an advertisement, to another, 



COMMON POLITENESS. 57 

and subject him to the postage of even 
a penny. 

It is not polite to wash your win- 
dows in such a manner as to spatter 
water on passers-by.' 

It is not polite to throw parings 
on the sidewalk. Persons have fre- 
quently fallen, and been injured for life, 
by stepping on orange-peel. * 

It is not polite to slander a neighbor, 
or listen to a slander. 

It is not polite to make use of low 
or vulgar expressions. A person of 
refined manners is never guilty of using 
expressions like these, — hairft, ki's'n, 
tairft, hadrft ought, and similar words. 

It is not polite to do any thing that 
is offensive to others. If you are re- 
quested not to smoke a cigar in the 



5& M.SS. 

ence of those to whom it is 1 

sive, you .should at once put the 
aside, and not make an insulting or an 
unkind remark. There is probably 

nothing so offensive to a person unac- 
customed to the use of tobacco, as the 
smoke of a cigar or a pipe. This it is 

your bounden duty to remember, and 
act the part of a Christian gentleman. 

It is not polite for a merchant to 
imitate his neighbor, whose peculiar 
tact has given him his trade. We often 
see one man advertise, almost word 
for word, as his neighbor does ; arrange 
his window in a similar manner ; and, 
in various other ways, follow his exam- 
ple. 

It is not polite to insist on opening 
a door or window in a car or ferry-boat, 



COMMON POLITENESS. 59 

to the inconvenience or suffering of 
others. 

It is not polite to use a neighbor's 
yard or sidewalk, to save your own 
from being torn up or soiled. 

It is not polite, in the payment of a 
debt, to give less, or send less in a let- 
ter, — even to the amount of a single 
penny. 

It is not polite to advertise anony- 
mously for a partner in life. Few per- 
sons of character and respectability re- 
sort to this means to obtain a wife or 
a husband. 

It is not polite to answer an adver- 
tisement or communication in the pub- 
lic prints, the object of which is decep- 
tion and fraud. A person of honor 
and strict integrity will not hesitate to 



6o MMl >N P0LITEN1 

subscribe his name to an article worthy 
the attention of the public. 

It is not polite for a choir of singers 
to disagree. 

It is not polite to request another to 
indorse a note for you without offering 
to give him ample security. 

It is not polite to loan to another 
an article intrusted to your care. 

It is not polite, when you have in- 
dorsed a note that the promiser cannot 
pay, to attempt to avoid the payment 
by putting your property out of 
hands, or by resorting to any other un- 
lawful means to avoid the payment A 
n should never indorse a note un- 
tie is abundantly able, and feels 
perfectly willing, to pay the same, pro- 
viding the debt should fall upon him. 



COMMON POLITENESS. 6 1 

In many cases, a note is taken, solely 
on account of the standing and reputa- 
tion of the indorser. 

It is not polite to judge of a man's 
character by the clothes he wears. 

It is not polite to speak in a manner 
that may wound the heart of a child. 
Persons are often at fault, in the pres- 
ence of the diffident, in making remarks 
that touch most keenly the sensitive 
heart. They do it thoughtlessly, to 
be sure ; but they are not the less to be 
censured. A real gentleman is always 
particular when he speaks, and how he 
speaks. 

It is not polite, if you have risen 
from poverty and obscurity to a respec- 
table position in society, to forget your 
former circumstances, and look down 



62 COMMON I'< 'I.I n.MSS. 

upon the Favored than yourself, 

who were once your companions and 
friends, — some of whom may have 
Contributed largely to your success and 
elevation. 

It is not polite, when a trader has 
given you the lowest prices at which 
he will sell his goods dc him to 

take less. A minister of the gospel, 
whose profession should teach him bet- 
ter, was recently purchasing an article 
of a merchant, whom he requested to 
put down to his lowest price. "That 
is my lowest price," said the trader. 
" You can take less," said the preacher : 
" I will give you so much,'' naming a 
much less price. " Would you have 
me lie ? " said the merchant. " You 
asked me to name my lowest price, and 



COMMON POLITENESS. 6$ 

I have done so ; and now you ask me 
to take less. Sir, I never trade thus." 
The minister blushed, and took the ar- 
ticle. 

It is not polite to perform any un- 
necessary work, or go on excursions 
of pleasure, on the Sabbath. 

It is not polite to waste or destroy 
any thing that can possibly be of use 
to another. 

It is not polite for a minister to 
make the pulpit an advertising medium, 
even if tickets to an exhibition are pre- 
sented to himself and family. 

It is not polite for school masters and 
mistresses, however well paid they may 
be, to distribute show-bills and cards 
to the children, from mountebanks and 
humbugs j thus setting all the scholars 



64 COMMON POLITEN1 

by the ears, to tease their parents and 

friends for the means of attending their 
exhibitions. 

It is not polite for school-teachers 
to show partiality to their scholars, or 
manifest an overbearing and tyrannical 
disposition towards any of their pupils. 

It is not polite, if asked a civil ques- 
tion by a stranger in the street, or at 
your place of business, to give him a 
short or gruff answer. 

It is not polite, if a gentleman in the 
cars rises to give his seat to a lady, 
for her to offer it to a gentleman who 
may accompany her, with the expecta- 
tion that another will rise. 

It is not polite to hang about stores, 
offices, or depots, where you have no 
business to transact. 



COMMON POLITENESS. 65 

It is not polite to get offended with 
a person who does not choose to pat- 
ronize the society or the object you 
represent. 

It is not polite to suffer yourself to 
be prejudiced against another, because 
some enemy may have spoken dispar- 
agingly of him. There are those full 
of prejudice against most worthy peo- 
ple, solely because they have heard ad- 
verse reports, circulated by the evil- 
minded and the slanderer. 

It is not polite to stand at the doors 
of your shop, or on the sidewalk, and 
invite the passers-by to walk in and 
purchase. People know what they 
want without your aid. 

It is not polite, when a trader charges 

you a certain amount for an article, to 
5 



66 \ n -I. ri i ni 

lay down a less sum, even if a copper 
or two only be lack;: 

It is not polite to subscribe to a 
benevolent cause, and never pay your 
subscription, 

It is not polite t wet umbrella 

in the cars, and hold it in a position to 
drip on a neighbor. 

It is not polite to request another to 
purchase an article for you, and then 
refuse to take it. 

It is not polite, when a person 
you the price of an article you do not 
have, and which you know can be pur- 
chased at the next door, to name the 
price at less than you know it can be 
bought of the wholesale dealer. 

It is not polite to sit on the counter, 
when in a gentleman's store. 



COMMON POLITENESS. 6>J 

It is not polite to wait upon a well- 
dressed customer, who has just entered 
your store, to the neglect of one who 
may be poor, or too modest to thrust 
himself forward, and who has been pa- 
tiently waiting for his turn. 

It is not polite, when sitting in a car, 
an omnibus, or a pew, to place your feet 
upon the cushions. 

It is not polite to keep your seat in 
a car, when an aged person, or a per- 
son lame or deformed, is obliged to 
stand. 

It is not polite to stop a vehicle on 
the cross-walk, where ladies and gentle- 
men are constantly passing. 

It is not polite to comb your hair 
in the preaence of persons who are at 
their meals. 



68 O IMMON POLITEN1 

It is not polite for our literary insti- 
tutions to confer titles on rich nabobs 
and dull jackasses, to the neglect of 
real worth and splendid talents. 

It is not polite for editors to approve 
of or condemn a book before they have 
carefully read it. 

Jt is not polite for a conductor on a 
car to be cross and crabid to his pas- 
sengers, or to answer a proper question 
with indifference or unkindness. 

It is not polite, when soliciting char- 
ity, to carry a baby in your arms. The 
discerning and intelligent are not thus 
entrapped. 

It is not polite to speak unpleasantly 
or sharply toa customer at the counter, 
or to a stranger in the street ; or to 
be indifferent to the wants of an 



COMMON POLITENESS. 69 

humble, unobtrusive individual. "A 
little word in kindness spoken " has 
made many a fortune, and, what is bet- 
ter, secured a pleasant and peaceful 
life, a triumphant death, and a blessed 
immortality. 

It is not polite, when you meet a 
sick acquaintance, to remark, " How 
dreadfully you look " — " You appear 
very feeble," and the like.. A man 
who is ill needs to be encouraged. 

It is not polite for lay members of a 
church, not blest with remarkable tal- 
ents, and who have, withal, weak and 
feminine voices, to usurp a large 
portion of the time in speaking or pray- 
ing, to the edification of none but them- 
selves. 

It is not polite for a person, speaking 



70 COMM< >N P0LIT1 " 



in public, to turn his back to the con- 
gregation, even if he should say some 
severe things to them. 

It is not polite to select articles of a 
Storekeeper, have them done up, and 

then neglect to send and pay for them. 

It is not polite for a conductor, when 
his car is full, to make his passei 
uncomfortable by crowding in others, 
especially on a hot day. 

It is not polite, while sitting in the 
cars, to extend your arms behind the 
backs of your neighbors. 

It is not polite to allow your children 
to enter the cars with anything in their 
hands to molest pass • or allow 

them to stand on the seats with dirty 
sh< h 

It is not polite to carry boxes, bas- 



COMMON POLITENESS. 7 I 

kets, or parcels in the cars, to take up 
room belonging to others, or to place 
them where they may annoy the pas- 
sengers. 

It is not polite for a professedly 
Christian institution, on account of a 
difference of opinion among its man- 
agers, to separate into two distinct 
bodies, and thus incur double the ex- 
pense of support, — particularly, if the 
funds for carrying on the enterprise are 
contributed mainly by the poor and 
middling classes. 

It is not polite to request another to 
sign a document, which properly be- 
longs to yourself to sign, but which 
you hesitate to do, apprehending that 
you may in future have trouble thereby. 
A Boston lawyer was once a partner in 



72 co.MMoX POLITENESS. 

business with a gentleman who 

executor to an estate, and who 

obliged to give bonds to the faithful 
discharge of his duty. Two names 
were required. lie obtained one ; and, 
after laboring for a week or more, he 
informed his companion that it was im- 
possible for him to succeed, and that 
he, as his partner in business, ought 
not to hesitate to sign the document. 
" Let me have the paper, and I will 
obtain a name," said the lawyer, lie 
immediately sent tor a neighbor, whom 
he knew had confidence in him, and, 
on his appearance, remarked, u I wish 
you would sign this paper for me." — 
u What is it ? " inquired his friend. 
"It is merely a form." — "Then, why 
do you not Sign it yourself?" was the 



COMMON POLITENESS. 73 

inquiry." — " I have no objection to sign 
it," said the lawyer ; " but, as it relates 
to business connected with our office, 
it would not be proper for me to do so." 
" If you will assure me it is only a form, 
I will sign it to accommodate you," the 
friend remarked. " I assure you, it is 
merely a matter of form," the lawyer 
replied. And his friend signed the doc- 
ument, and thought no more of the 
circumstance. After the expiration of 
a year or two, the merchant was waited 
upon at his store by an officer, who 
informed him that his goods were at- 
tached to the amount of several thou- 
sand dollars, — - he being bondsman for 
another, — and a keeper was accord- 
ingly placed in his store. The mer- 
chant at first did not understand the 



74 MMON POLITENESS. 

matter ; but finally remembered the cir- 
circumstance recorded above, and im- 
mediately called upon the lawyer. He 
coolly remarked, " I did not think you 
would have trouble, but I will see what 
I can do.'' He was repeatedly called 
upon \ and, although he was worth a 
large property, he utterly refused to 
assist his friend, or to be responsible 
for the safe-keeping of his goods : and 
the merchant, thus deceived, with a 
large family on his hands, was driven 
into bankruptcy, and never received 
a dollar from his wealthy, pretended 
friend. 

It is not polite to sell an article less 
than cost to a new customer to get his 
future trade, intending to make up your 
loss at some future time, thus riving 



COMMON POLITENESS. 75 

him the impression that you sell cheap- 
er than your honest neighbor, who 
resorts to no such tricks to deceive. 

It is not polite to whine over losses. 
A real, energetic man will persevere, 
and again be successful. 

It is not polite to subscribe for the 
erection of a church, or any benevo- 
lent enterprise, while at the same time 
you owe honest debts which you refuse 
to pay. 

It is not polite for Christians to meet 
and pray for the prosperity of Zion, 
and that " brotherly love may continue," 
while they refuse to speak to, or have 
fellowship with, some members of the 
Church. 

It is not polite to place boxes or 
other articles on the sidewalk, with 



*]G CO] ESS. 

hooks or nails in them, whereby ladies 1 

dresses can be caught and injured. 

It is not polite, on a second marri 
Beet on a companion, by frequent- 
ly mentioning the kind disposition and 
amiable character of a former husband 
or wife. 

1 1 is not polite to avoid the company of 
a friend, or to treat him coolly, without 
giving him a reason for your conduct. 
Some evil-minded person may have 
circulated a slander, or brought a false 
accusation against him. A friend should 
never be forsaken, unless you have indu- 
bitable evidence of his guilt, and you 
have labored faithfully and affectionate- 
ly I • him to virtue. 

It is not polite for a string of vehicles 
to continue to pass over the cross-walk, 



COMMON POLITENESS, 77 

expressly laid for passengers, when 
there are those waiting to pass along. 

It is not polite for a merchant to 
charge more for his goods than he ex- 
pects to get, and then suffer himself to 
be beaten down in his prices. 

It is not polite for a minister who 
desires to display his skill, and amuse 
a thoughtless congregation, to select 
detached sentences and odd phrases, 
or simple words, from the Bible, as a 
foundation for his discourse. 

It is not polite for ephemeral crit- 
ics, even if they do belong to mutual 
admiration societies, to be severe on 
men of talents who do not coincide in 
their views, or patronize their literary 
efforts. We often find, in what are 
called first-class periodicals, papers 



78 Co LITBNSS& 

from men who have become popular 
on account of something which they 
have written in years past, which would 
hardly be passable in the columns of a 
country newspaper. Sometimes works 
of real merit are suffered to lie neglect- 
ed because the authors were too inde- 
pendent to bow down, and kiss the feet 
of Dagon. 

It is not polite to refuse to do any 
necessary work, no matter how elevated 
your condition, or wealthy you may be. 

It is not polite to repeat a story, 
especially if it is a long one, to your 
friends. If you are apt to be forgetful, 
just inquire if you have not told the 
story before. 

It is not polite to wear a sanctimo- 
nious face at church, and frequently in- 



COMMON POLITENESS. 79 

troduce the subject of religion as a 
topic of conversation, while, at the same 
time, your dealings with your clerks and 
others are such as to bring reproach 
upon the cause you hypocritically labor 
to .promote. 

It is not polite, in starting a periodi- 
cal, for an editor to advocate a certain 
cause, and after he has published it for 
several weeks, and obtained patrons, to 
change his sentiments for the sake of 
office or money. He should at once 
refund every dollar he has received 
from those who justly feel indignant at 
his course. 

It is not polite for a church commit- 
tee, when the stated pastor is sick or 
absent, to inflict on the congregation a 
dull, prosaic, broken-down, or super- 



8o MMON POLITl 

annuated minister, simply because he 
works cheap, and can be obtained at 
half price. 

It is not polite for an officer, dressed 
in a little brief authority, to exercise 
that authority to the annoyance and 
disgust of others ; making a complete 
fool of himself. 

It is not polite for a minister to strive 
to be a " lord over God's herii 
He should remember that the church 
and congregation have equal rights with 
himself. 

It is not polite to speak unnecessa- 
rily loud to a person who is a little 
deaf, — especially before strangers. 

It is not polite, after purchasing 
goods of a merchant, to take them to 
his house, out of the city, and request 



COMMON POLITENESS. 



him to take them to his store and ex- 
change them, — even if he is a good- 
natured man, and you are very pleasant 
in conversation. 

It is not polite to wear your nails 
long, or to have them soiled at the ends. 

It is not polite, when invited to an 
entertainment, to find fault with the 
dishes. 

It is not polite, when you have assist- 
ed another in adversity, or pecuniary 
distress, to remind him of it, even if 
you become dissatisfied with his course 
and conduct. A true deed of charity 
is never referred to, except in gratitude, 
when in your closet. 

It is not polite to whistle when in 
company, thump on the table, or make 
any unnecessary noise. 



82 ( 0MM4 »\ I'« >UTK\KSS. 

Jt is not polite to place your feet on 
the rounds of a chair, on the window- 
sills, or to sit with your feet in an ele- 
vated position. 

It is not polite to be restless and un- 
quiet in church, or in any public assem- 
bly. 

It is not polite to show letters sent 
to you in confidence, or to expose the 
bad grammar, or incorrect spelling of a 
document kindly loaned you by a friend. 

It is not polite for half a dozen per- 
sons to crowd into a store, already full, 
where only one wishes to make a pur- 
chase. 

It is not polite to go on pleasure ex- 
cursions on the Sabbath, to the annoy- 
ance of those who attend church, and 
who desire to worship their Creator 



COMMON POLITENESS. 83 

unmolested by the noise of vehicles or 
boisterous conversation and laughter. 
Many a worshiping congregation has 
been seriously disturbed by the profane 
and thoughtless riding past their 
churches. The growing desecration of 
the Sabbath, of late, seems to call loud- 
ly for all interested in the preservation 
of the sanctity of this day, and the 
continuance of good morals, to exert 
their influence to stay the progress of 
this breach of morality and religion. 

It is not polite for persons to adulter- 
ate the articles they sell for genuine. 
The increasing desire to accumulate 
property, or to live beyond one's means, 
has induced many to resort to courses 
unjustifiable and dishonest. How few 
of the articles consumed in a family 



84 POLITEN] 

arc just what the seller warrants them 

to be ! The retailer may or may not 
be at fault ; but the sin attaches itself 
to somebody for all the adulter 

articles in the market ; and, if there IS 
to be a day of reckoning at last, how 
dark will be the record of those who 
deceive ! 

It is not polite to hector, perplex, or 
torment those who are not blessed with 
an even temper, or a sunny disposition. 
How many, by irritating their friends, 
prove complete "thorns in the flesh," 
when, by a different course, they might 
be real blessings to mankind, and se- 
cure the approbation, if not the affec- 
tions, of thousan< 

It is not polite for public functiona- 
ries to take bribes, and screen the dis- 



COMMON POLITENESS. 85 

honest from the punishment they de- 
serve. There is reason to believe that 
there are men, high in office, whose 
integrity is sometimes laid aside from 
motives of friendship, or from the love 
of gain. A man who cannot be firm 
in his virtuous principles should never 
take a responsible office. 

It is not polite to give garbled extracts 
as the sentiments of an author, or to 
cite, as his ideas, language which has 
been altered in the slightest degree. 

It is not polite for hymnologists, in 
preparing books for public assemblies, 
to alter a line, or a single word even, 
of the hymns written by others, without 
their consent. Persons with little judg- 
ment, and less poetic talent, have so 
altered some of the best productions of 



86 COMMON POUTENS88. 

Watts, Doddridge, Cowper, Montgom- 
ery, and others, as not only to destroy 
the poetic life, and quench the sacred 
fire, of their holiest effusions, but have 
also made them to convey sentiments 
utterly at variance with the religious 
opinions of the authors. Stanzas fine- 
ly conceived and nobly expressed, in 
some cases have been omitted, or sup- 
plied by others mean in conception, 
tame in spirit, and utterly unworthy of 
being sung or repeated in the sanctu- 
ary set apart for the worship and praise 
of the Most High. Hymns have been 
so altered as to adapt them to particu- 
lar and favorite tunes, which is decid- 
edly wronging an author. In every 
case, the tune should be adapted to the 
hymn. It is high time that the Chris- 



COMMON POLITENESS. 87 

tian public should frown on every at- 
tempt to improve the style and lan- 
guage of Cowper, Montgomery, and 
other deceased religious poets. It 
would be well if ministers and people 
should refuse to use in their churches 
books containing hymns shorn of their 
beauties, and made ridiculous from 
the interpolations of would-be poets and 
authors. 

It is not polite for an ambitious man, 
seeking for office, to express his love 
for the " dear people," and his determi- 
nation to stand up at all hazards for 
the right, immediately to change his 
course when his ends are gained, and 
denounce the measures he was once so 
earnest to sustain. 

It is not polite to leave a company 



88 COMMON POLIT1 

abruptly when you arc expected to re- 
main, without giving a sufficient excuse 
for your course. 

It is not polite, when detected in a 
wrong statement, to make a terrible 
bluster, using harsh and denunciatory 
language, as if thus to satisfy your 
friends and your conscience. The only 
right course to pursue, after you have 
erred, is at once to confess your fault ; 
and this course alone will satisfy your 
real friends. 

It is not polite to manifest angry feel- 
ings when a wrong package, parcel, or 
book has been given to you, or t 
when you have been unconsciously mis- 
directed. We have seen persons very 
indignant and angry when a slight mis- 
take has been made, which shows an 



COMMON POLITENESS. 89 

ugly disposition, and one which needs 
much care and attention to cultivate. 

It is not polite, after refusing to give 
the assessor of taxes a schedule of your 
property, to find fault with the amount 
of your taxes. Some men think it no 
sin to defraud the town or the govern- 
ment, and sometimes take pride in ac- 
knowledging their guilt. It is just as 
wicked to carry a false schedule to the 
collector, or to make a false statement 
at the custom-house, as to take goods 
without leave from your neighbor's 
store. Until men look at this subject 
in its true light, their integrity and mo- 
rality will be questioned, no matter how 
sincerely and closely they profess to 
follow the example of Christ. 

It is not polite to use improper Ian- 



90 COMMON PoUT INI 

guage, or relate indecent stories, espe- 
cially in the company of children. 
There are persons who are avoided, 
solely on account of the language they 
use, and the stories they tell. How 
pernicious must the example of such be, 
wherever it is seen and felt ! If there 
is a perfect blot on God's creation, we 
have often thought it to be the man 
who habitually uses indecent language, 
or makes allusion to transactions the 
most villainous. He cannot be other- 
wise than a moral pest to society, and 
deserves to be shunned by the moral 
and virtuous of all classes. 

It is not polite to enter a gentleman's 
study, or place of business, and trouble 
him to hear unprofitable stories, or ask 
him a thousand unnecessary questions. 



COMMON POLITENESS. 9 1 

Sometimes the only leisure a profes- 
sional man, or a man of business, has, 
are the few moments you find him at 
his desk • and it is provoking in the 
extreme to disturb him then. A genu- 
ine polite business-man will be brief 
in his remarks, few in his questions, 
which will be to the point, and very 
short and unfrequent in his visits, 
especially if what he communicates, or 
inquires about, relates solely to his own 
affairs. 

It is not polite, finally, to pursue any 
course contrary to the known wishes of 
your friends, or derogatory to the char- 
acter of upright citizens ; nay, more, to 
take any step or commit any act which 
is condemned by the precepts of the 
Bible. 



(j2 < < IMM< 'N I'' 'I I IINKSS. 

In this little work we have end 
ored to throw out hints, SO that all who 
read may be induced to pursue that 
course, and practise those virtues, which 
will make them better citizens, better 
members of society, better Christians, 
and, what is of far more importance, 
enable them so to conduct in every de- 
partment of life, as to prepare them for 
the society of the "just made perfect," 
when this fleeting season of existence 
is passed. 

People generally are not aware how 
important to success in life, and how 
necessary to the formation of an upright 
Christian character, is the deportment 
of every-day life. A comparatively tri- 
fling course of conduct in youth often 
has great influence on the future char- 



COMMON POLITENESS. 93 

acter of the man. Resist the first temp- 
tation ; suppress the first desire for 
forbidden pleasure ; dash the first in- 
toxicating cup presented to your lip ; 
suppress the first oath ; resist, with a 
determination that no persuasion shall 
overcome, the first suggestion to put a 
cigar to your mouth ; and with a silent, 
earnest prayer to Heaven for assistance, 
you will be safe. 

It is of the highest importance that 
those who have just stepped on the 
threshold of life should look upon this 
state of existence, not as a place to cul- 
tivate the basest passions, or foster a 
taste for enticing pleasures, with loose 
ideas of morality and Christianity ; but 
as a preparation-state for a higher and 
holier existence. The kindly, genial 



94 >MM< »N J' 1 »I.I i 

affections of the heart should be culti- 
vated and brought out, while selfish- 

. and every oilier sordid 
EDUSt be kept down and d 
Study to be sincere, benevolent, kind- 
hearted, affectionate, and really polite 
in all vour dealings with vour neigh- 
bors, in your intercourse with the 
world, with an especial aim to the 
glory of your Redeemer. 

Brought up and having lived in a 
city for a long period, we have been no 
slight observer of men and manners, 
and have marked the dawning period, 
the middle age, and the close of life, 
of many an individual, and can record 
our testimony to the value of a polite, 
consistent. Christian course. Virtue 
ha> not only been the strength of youth, 



COMMON POLITENESS. 95 

but a passport to the society of the 
good and intelligent, and opened the 
way to complete success. We do not 
wish you to understand that we mean 
by success, wealth, popular applause, 
elevated positions, or the good opinions 
merely of your neighbors and friends ; 
but we mean a substantial character, 
inflexible virtue, and unbending integ- 
rity. Among the bright examples of 
Christian excellence, we might name 
such men as the late Daniel S afford, 
John C. Proctor, and Timothy Gilbert 
of Boston ; men who, through life, ex- 
hibited the Christian virtues, and exert- 
ed a wide influence for good, which will 
be felt for generations to come. We 
might also mention, in this connection, 
the honored names of Stephen Long- 



o6 C0MM4 >N POL! I 

fellow and Levi Cutter of Portland j 
men who were blessings in their clay, 
and whose bright example of Christian 
excellence is worthy the imitation of 
all. Following the example of .such, 
your life will be a blessing to yourselves 
and others, your end will be peaceful, 
and your reward in heaven glorious 
and eternal. 



THE END. 



6 T4 i 



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